What if it all Turns out Just Fine?

I read an article, when Lily Ann was about six months old.  In it, there was a direct quote from a mother that said something like "having a second child is not double the work, it is more like quadruple . . ."  When I read that, I recall thinking, "I'm fine with just one child.  I'll never be able to handle four times this workload."  Adam and I had agreed that we had our hands full and probably just needed to focus on raising our one little girl. 
Obviously, God had other plans for us. 
Throughout the past few months, very well-meaning friends and some family members have been warning me that Lily Ann is going to have some adjusting to do when Miles is born.  There have been lots of questions from people like, "how do you think Lily will handle having another baby around?"; "do you think she knows what's about to happen?" and "are you ready for what two babies is going to do to your life?"  Many have passed on stories of sibling rivalry, overall discontent and things being very hard for a young family with two small children. 
I do know that, for the most part, people are just making conversation - and/or trying to give us advice or wisdom.  But I've been getting the same kind of discourse from many different people lately.  And the other day, it was starting to get me down.  Every time I thought of our little blessing around the corner, I got nervous and saw images of how hard it would be to have "two under two".  I began to think of Lily's transition and I felt so sad for her.  I was fearing the worst and fretting about things.  It wasn't until I had a friend over for breakfast, who has two little ones, that I realized that things might turn out differently.  My friend, we'll call her Gertrude, said things like - "I found things easier with two"; and "I had thought things would be really difficult, but it seemed less stressful the second time."  This refreshing perspective reminded me that if I listen to the "negative Nellies," all the time - I will have more negative thoughts.  I was also reminded that there is just as much of a possibility that things will turn out really well for all of us with the addition of Miles to our little family.  Gertrude was a breath of fresh air for me that morning.  And still, this morning, when I remember our conversation. 
I know that Lily Ann will have to adjust to another baby in the house.  I'm sure every first child goes through an adjustment period when the second-born comes along.  I understand that Adam and I will have to get used to a new level of activity and new pressures with a second child.  I would be totally naive to think otherwise.  But who's to say this won't be a serious blessing and positive addition to our family?!  What if Lily Ann's life is enriched and happy because she has a younger brother to love?  What if things turn out just fine?  Those are the thoughts I'm having lately.  Gertrude gave me some positive "what ifs" that are invading my thoughts these days.  I'm really thankful for the change - and optimistic about the upcoming changes/blessings for us. 

Comments

Andrea Moberly said…
Oh I'm so sorry you've been having experience with Negative Nellies. You are going to LOVE having 2 under two! Our kids are best friends (yes, some days they're worst enemies) and are definitely enriched by having a sibling close to their age! I would not trade what we did for anything in the world. I have been getting some similar questions about our adoption (how do the kids feel, what kind of adjustment will this be for them, etc) and my response is that they will be better people for it! Many blessings on your growing family!
Alison said…
I ditto Andrea's message. :-) It's wonderful! Not perfect and not without it's challenges, but wonderful. :-) I think the transition from 0-1 was more difficult than 1-2. You know what to expect now! You guys are amazing parents and I'm sure Miles will be an amazing addition to your family! And have some grace for the Negative Nellies-they could just be having a rough day! :-) You're right, they do probably mean well. ;-) It's so true how powerful our thoughts can be, isn't it? "Take every thought captive..." Love you! I'll pray for you as you eagerly await the new arrival to your family!
Julie said…
Someone told me once.."the greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling".... Lily ann will be the best big sister! I can't wait to hear all the cute stories! : )

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