In TOTAL disagreement with you . . .

Okay - I know . . . I beg for those "honest poll answers." I want your heart. I want to know what you really think. But come ON! My last poll. I thought it was a tough question. (Which of these emotions would you consider to be the strongest?). As always - this was an anonymous poll. No chance I'd ever know who voted for what. But I'm telling you right now that I voted for the remorse/regret option. And not many others voted my way.

I'm not really disappointed - I am more perplexed at the results. I thought it was a no-brainer.

The reason I am so different: I guess it must have to do with the amount of regret that I've actually felt in my life. I'm the girl that always feels regret. Mostly in the form of "I wish I had helped"; "I wish I had spoke"; "I wish I hadn't spoke"; "I wish I had loved more, trusted more, believed more, given more, etc."

And regret - it is the worst feeling and the most intense feeling that I ever have. Because - no matter what - the time has passed. The regret comes over me like a red heat. Typically, I blush like an embarrassed teenaged boy. My stomach gets all sickish. I can't shake it. I try to put my mind in a "happy place" - but my heart won't go. I sweat. I lose focus. And - sometimes I even cry. It is absolutely crippling for me.

I share my argument just to express myself here. The poll has been on my mind for days. (I'm a little regretful that I didn't post this sooner :)

Feel free to post a reprove of the feeling you chose. I'd love to read your thoughts on the issue. I really don't think there is a wrong answer to this. Emotions are absolutely beautiful that way. We haven't any real choice about them.

PS: Why (In this Valentine's Season) did I not list LOVE as an "emotion"? Because LOVE is a choice. It is NOT an emotion. It is also not a feeling, or a particular action. LOVE is always a choice.


Jess said…
I completely and respectfully disagree with you. If strength is judged by the control over any emotion, the most uncontrolled being the strongest, I would most definitely have to say that Love is just that. I can choose to seperate myself from regret or sorrow or excitement, but tell me who or when or how to love and I have no choice but to follow instead of decide. I would go so far as to say that I genuinely love every human being that I meet, the strength merely determined by the level of connection I have with that person. I did not decide to love my family, my baby girl, Justen, or even my cats. Sometimes my love for things makes me boil over with so much excess energy that I can feel it under my skin. My faces tingles and all I can do is smile, take a deep breath and experience it. Love is the only emotion I would dwell on, the only emotion I would wish to feel again, and the only emotion I dream of every morning. Love is a gift, a joy, an ability, an inspiration, and the only reason to keep going. All those other emotions just make loving complicated, interesting, and sometimes difficult to express. I am Jessica and I Love.

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